Defense Attorney:                                                         
 Will you please state your age?                                           
                                                                           
 Little Old Lady:                                                          
 I am 86 years old.                                                        
                                                                           
 Defense Attorney:                                                         
 Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
                                                                           
                                                                           
 Little Old Lady:                                                          
 There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring 
 evening,                                                                  
 when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.   
                                                                           
 Defense Attorney:                                                         
 Did you know him?                                                         
                                                                           
 Little Old Lady:                                                          
 No, but he sure was friendly.                                             
                                                                           
 Defense Attorney:                                                         
 What happened after he sat down?                                          
                                                                           
 Little Old Lady:                                                          
 He started to rub my thigh.                                               
                                                                           
 Defense Attorney:                                                         
 Did you stop him?                                                         
                                                                           
 Little Old Lady:                                                          
 No, I didn't stop him.                                                    
                                                                           
 Defense Attorney:                                                         
 Why not?                                                                  
                                                                           
 Little Old Lady:                                                          
 It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.
                                                                           
 Defense Attorney:                                                         
 What happened next?                                                       
                                                                           
 Little Old Lady:                                                          
 He began to rub my breasts.                                               
                                                                           
 Defense Attorney:                                                         
 Did you stop him then?                                                    
                                                                           
 Little Old Lady:                                                          
 No, I did not stop him.                                                   
                                                                           
 Defense Attorney:                                                         
 Why not?                                                                  
                                                                           
 Little Old Lady:                                                          
 His rubb ing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good 
 in years!                                                                 
                                                                           
 Defense Attorney:                                                         
 What happened next?                                                       
                                                                           
 Little Old Lady:                                                          
 Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told    
 him:                                                                      
 Take me, young man. Take me now!                                          
                                                                           
 Defense Attorney:                                                         
 Did he take you?                                                          
                                                                           
 Little Old Lady:                                                          
 Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fool!' And that's when I shot him, the   
 little bastard!